Question:

I haven't been well for some time, as someone attempted to destroy me mentally. However, alhamdulillah I am recieving treatment. I had to take this year as a gap year from university as I didn't want to do anything at all. I didn't attend my lectures or my classes, and I never wanted to pray salaah. I would scream at any reading I saw. shaykh hinted to me that it's iblis that is trying to destroy me. This has also affected my ability to think constructively, and differentiate between right and wrong.

Can you please tell me if the following is permissible:

I’ve known brother (let's say adam) for quite some time via uni. He has been asked by another brother (lets say yunus) to give an analysis on me because yunus may ask for my hand in marriage. Brother adam is confused, and doesn't want to give this analysis, 'background check' as they say without my permission. adam has approached ME to ask whether I am looking and whether it's okay for him to share what he knows about me. If I answer no to any of these he won't share anything with yusuf.

As soon as adam e-maild me to ask my permission, I said to him you need to speak to my mahram for such. He e-mailed back and said its okay for him to ask my permission to speak about me. I trusted him, and said its okay for him to talk about me and told him how yunus needs to be with islam before he says anything to him, because if yunus doesn’t have deen as his reference point then there's no need for him to disclose anything about me.

I’m scared. Did I do the right thing? I still think the only right way was for him to approach my brother to ask anything regarding this matter. adam knows my brother.

Answer:

You are right that the better way Islamically is for Marriage and issues of Marriage to be pursued through your Walis, like your brother, father etc. Having said this, when a person is investigating for possible marriage he asks those he can easily contact who also know you, in this case Adam. Thus the latter will inform the enquirer of whatever he knows. This he can do without your permission as it comes under Mashwarah (Islamic consultation) and his asking you is more out of courtesy than due to the need to do so.

Mufti Mohammed Sajjad

Wallahu Aalam bis-sawab

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The answer to this question is the opinion of the scholar and does not reflect the opinion of other scholars of As-Suffa Institute and As-Suffa Institute as an organisation.