Question:

My daughter is 10 years old and in Year 5 of Primary School. It is coming towards the end of term and the school will be introducing sex education. This is usually left to the end of Year 6, however, they have decided to bring it forward by one year from now. The children have covered plant reproduction previously but this will be their first foray into the human body. The material covered is taken from a BBC book, How Our Bodies Work and some additional BBC videos. I am told, the school does not discuss contraception, AIDS or same sex marriages. The school will explore the physical and emotional changes in mixed classes. Some other topics such as how much it costs to bring up a baby are also discussed. The 3 videos are from the 1980's and are detailed as follows:

Video 1 - Puberty Discusses changes to the body at this time. The video looks at children who have been through the changes and what their experiences were together with how their lives have changed, such as greater independence, more responsibilities, mixing with the opposite sex, parties...etc.

Video 2 - Child Birth Explores how babies are born with a look at getting ready to receive the new baby, labour and a graphic close-up of the actual delivery of the child.

Video 3 - Sex This looks at the changes to the body in more detail, namely the sexual organs in both sexes. A nude man and woman are shown and the changes to the their bodies explained. There are some biology-type diagrams describing the internal reproductive organs and genitalia. The program ends with the reproductive process, discussing ejaculation and sex with the aid of cartoon drawings of a couple in the act.

I have permitted my daughter to watch the first video only and will discuss the topics covered in the other 2 with here through an Islamic perspective around marriage. One thing to bear in mind, is that the other children in the class will see the videos and will obviously discuss the content in the playground. The school are attempting to portray this more of a biology lesson.

Is this the right thing to do ? Also, are there any Islamic sources that I can use to explain this to my daughter ?

Answer:

Parents must protect their children from being exposed to indecent images and teachings that conflict with Islamic principles wherever, however and whenever this may occur. This becomes even more important when the children are at a young age. The harmful effects upon a child's spirituality and morality as a consequence of such exposure will be something the parents will be accountable for before Allah taala, the Messenger of Allah (SWT) said: All of you are shepherds and every one of you will be questioned about those underneath you (Bukhari).

Parents should try their best to give their children a pure and Islamic education. If however, due to difficult circumstances parents are unable to send their children to a Muslim School or a Madrasah, then parents should opt to have their children miss those classes which will expose them to viewing videos that include nudity and music etc. In the above question it was mentioned that the daughter is about ten years. It is unfortunate that at such a young age this is happening. Islamically, it would be more appropriate to speak to children about issues such as those mentioned at a more mature appreciating age.

Secondly, it is to be noted that the manner of the teaching of these issues differs greatly with the secular method. For example, the secular schools teach these issues in a purely biological way, where as islamically, they would be explained in the context of creation, marriage and the family system. If a child has reached an age that one perceives that such issues need to be explained to him/her or the circumstances are such that it seems prudent to do so (as it seems is your case), then the mother should speak to the daughter and the father to the son. The basic ideas of birth, conception etc. should be explained again keeping in mind the contextual approach. Furthermore, they should also use the hadith in this explanation which in fact should make this process easier. The hadith related to marriage, family and creation that one can refer to can be found in the English translation of Riyad al-Saliheen by Imam Nawawi (The Chapter of Nikah or marriage). Note that everything need not be explained at once, whenever one feels the time may be appropriate one should take the opportunity to speak. Such discussions should also include other issues not dealt with in the schools, such as matters of hygiene such as removing hair from private areas etc.

Mufti Mohammed Sajjad

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The answer to this question is the opinion of the scholar and does not reflect the opinion of other scholars of As-Suffa Institute and As-Suffa Institute as an organisation.