Question:

Question:

Answer:

There are many important points raised by your question. Sometimes, Shaytan and one's nafs tricks a person into sinning and then going back to the sin under the false belief that: "Dont worry, sin and just repent again." Beware of this as Repentance will only be accepted if you have a true resolve never to do it again and secondly, you feel remorse in your heart and thirdly, you break away totally from the man (which means no seeing him, no speaking to him, or even texting him ever again). If this is not done then you are just deceiving yourself and insulting your Creator, as the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam) said: "The one who goes back to his sin is mocking his Lord." What the hadith means is that just as if, for example, someone shoved another person and then having said sorry for this mistake, shoved him again and again, it would be seen as though he was rediculing and making fun of that person, similarly to keep on sinning and asking for forgiveness repeatedly is rediculing and making fun of the Almighty.

Secondly, please do not allow yourself to think that the sin you are commiting is light. It is so heinous that even if you never got married for a thousand years it would not be justified. I am affraid that both you and the man you have commited this sin with, do not have the slightest idea of the seriousness of what you have done. There are so many verses and hadith warning us about the severity of Allah's anger and His punishment for those who comit this sin. In a Sahih Hadith, it is narrated that in the Next-life apart from the torture of the grave, all of these kind of people will be put in a furnace and contiously blasted with fire. The sin is only made worse by the fact you are hurting the wife and children of that man. How whould you like it if you married that man you wish to now marry and have children with him and you find out somehow that he has been having an affair behind your's and your children's back?

Thirdly, Allah taala made you pure and precious and by your actions you have made yourself cheap. The preciousness of your Imaan and your being from the daughters of the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam) and a sister of the pure pious women of Islam such as Fatima, Aisha, Maryam (radiallah anhunna) etc, demanded instead of being a partner of sin, that you be an example of modesty and virtue for others to copy you. Thus you should not look at the man who brought you to this level with any affection, rather he is your enemy who (knowingly or in his ignorance) has, maybe, sealed for you your place in Hell when you die. I assure you he is just using you and if he really had any love for you, then, he should show that love by marrying you, but he will never do that. As for your situation at the moment, please understand that you must have patience.

There are women in the World who have had their houses destroyed, lost their whole families and have little or nothing to eat and have perhaps no chance of ever getting married, but they will never turn to this sin to fulfil their needs. To get out of your problem, you must sincerely turn to Allah taala. This means that you should get married according to the way Allah taala has laid down for you to get married. By getting to know this guy in this deceptive secretive way is actually making the same mistake you did the first time, and be assured he is no pious guy if he talks to non-Mahram women. The way forward is to speak to an auntie or an elder brother and try to get them on your side to help you find a brother who will be both accpetable to you and your parents. Keep doing Dua to Allah taala to help you in this, and without any doubt Allah taala will come to your aid, because it is in a hadith that there is no one more beloved to Allah taala than a person who truly repents for his/her past sins. Never forget Allah taala has promised every believer in the Holy Qur'an: "Indeed after hardship comes ease." Finally, I pray for you that Allah taala gives you the strength to truly stop this vile sin and repent. Ameen.

Mufti Mohammed Sajjad

Wallahu Aalam bis-sawab

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The answer to this question is the opinion of the scholar and does not reflect the opinion of other scholars of As-Suffa Institute and As-Suffa Institute as an organisation.